Monday, July 20, 2015

dream job

I've developed a new pick up line.  No, no the kind that you use on the opposite sex, but the kind that makes for unique conversation.

I like to consider myself a #bridgebuilder and I'm always looking for ways to connect people and connect with, I've come up with a new punch line....

If you could have any job, no specific skill required, what would it be?

Think about it.  Reputation aside, what would it be?

Personally, I've come up with a couple options:
  • I think it would be fun to work at a craft store fabric counter
  • I think it would be fun to be a barista - smelling coffee all day, making "the usual" for your usuals and I mean learning how to make pretty milk foam designs...
  • It would be fund to "do hair" at a "hair do shoppe" - yes, my store name would have 2 p's and an e
  • And, don't tell my dad, but I think there could be something to being a bartender at a local honkytonk - old men calling you babe....
There I said it.  I've always had listed that my dream job would be an event planner, more specifically a high end wedding planner.  I used to get to do the local, college-town version of that and loved every moment.  I love the creativity, the happy, the unique style that each event would bring.  But, I'm lost on the fact that, that job would have TONS of stress.  I love details and I love exceeding expectations.  I love making a day super smooth and easy for a bride, but all the personal weight of that process is pretty crazy.  So, I'd like to coordinate it, but I don't think I could really handle doing it every day with my pocket book relying on it.

So, I'll stick to the list above.  It would be great to have a job that didn't rely on an email address and people hunting you down.  How fun would it be to just serve people; to talk to them, get to know them, and just serve them....

What about you...what would you do if a particular skill set, reputation or paycheck were not determining factors??!?!

Dream....I dare you! 

Using this pick up line to talk to people gets much better answers than the usual - "what do you do", "where are you from", "how was your weekend."

#bridgebuilder insider secret - people want to know that you really care about them!  But, it also gives you a chance to share your own quirky...and we all have some!


Sunday, July 12, 2015

how deep is ugly

...or as I like to call it, "when our heart out paces our soul".
As one who likes to combat the notion that we only put our good on social media, I want to be raw and real for a moment.
This last week as been pretty ugly.  Loneliness has crept in, in the recent weeks and I saw it begin to reveal its ugly little head this week.
After a really ugly year in 2013, I noticed the beginnings of what turned in to an ugly cycle of depression.  Thankfully I’m recognizing it.  Thankfully I’m seeing it early where I can do something about it.  After all, recognition is the first step. (right?)
But, as I’ve thought and reflected this morning in my devotional time, I’ve realized something.  I used stuff to stuff the lonely feelings.
Last week I posted about my “possibilities hoarding” tendencies.  And, they are so real.  But, coming off 2 weeks of cleaning out, I’m realizing without the stuff there, I have to deal with the real thing that was beneath them.  Yes, the ugly, dirt covered floor of my garage.  Its nasty and every time I walk out there, I bring some of the dirt back in to my house on my bare feet.  Thankfully I can rub it off on the mat at my door, but its still there as a reminder. 
Now I could get all kinds of crazy metaphorical on you here, but I’ll spare us both the lesson. 
Its been a hard week.  Cleaning all that stuff out and packing it up for someone to come pick up was like peeling the scab off an old wound.  It was just starting to heal because it was covered up.  The new skin was starting to grow over it and conceal it even better.  But no, I had to go and reveal it.  Bring it back up to the surface. 
Looking at our ugly is hard. Seeing who we really are in our core is brutal.  There is a reason I had it covered. 
Lonely is a dark place.  It’s an empty place.  Its like being in a tunnel and you can't see the point of
How Deep is Ugly? | @bigpittstop | when our heart out paces our soul
origination or the light of deliverance.  Oh, I feel like I’m about to make a turn and there will be a new light source.  Something drawing me toward it that will shed light on where I currently am.  I know its there because I’ve experienced it before.  You can’t always live in the middle of the dark tunnel.
The deepest parts of the ocean is a place where its pitch dark, freezing and pressure is so condensed it squashes out most anything that can live.  Problem is the sea creatures that live down there have had to make adaptations to be able to survive.  They are scary looking creatures, but they’ve made it work.  I think that’s something I’m fearful of.  What scars will always remain if I stay in this place?
So, I will walk forward.  Knowing, hoping and relying on the fact that because there has been a light before, there will be a light again (I’m sure there’s some philosophical law theory that puts a name to this!).
This morning my prayer was, “God come and fill the empty places of my heart like foam expanding caulk.  I want my heart to look more like You than it does like me.  Fill my voids, my ugly thoughts, the deep gallows where nothing exists, with more of who You are.”    


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Possibilities Hoarder

**Note – after I wrote this, I realized it was more of a self-talk moment than a moment to encourage you…consider yourself warned about the on goings between my 2 perfectly shaped ears!**

Have you ever thought about what makes us hold on to things?

What are the emotional drivers that make us think something is valuable? Emotional investment of time, or mind space.  A specific memory that is triggered whether fond or fragile? A relationship failed or gained.

This weekend I saw the movie Inside Out.  They talk about things called “core memories”.  They are the drivers that everything else inspires and expires from.

I wonder how many of the things we hold on to are driven by these core memories.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve spent much of the last week cleaning out my garage.  Cleaning out tubs of craft items and frankly there were enough that Hobby Lobby should be running a distribution center out of my garage.  There were tubs of Christmas decorations and I’m pretty sure that of the last 5 years, I’ve only put up a tree once.  There were files that I had moved here from my previous jobs and loads of things I’m pretty sure I’m holding on to for decorations if I ever get married.

Some days.
Lots of ifs and coulds and might bes.

I wanted them for some reason.  Do they make me feel safe? Do the feel my need from dream space? Do they mask and cover what hasn’t been from what I wanted to be?

So, I did what I’ve put off for almost 3 years. …I purged my stuff.  I’ve realized that I was stuffing an unsafe place in my mind with things.  And, I’ve begin to hold on to those things as things that will fill voids.  Voids caused by real relationships (or the lack there of).  Voids caused by negative self-talk.  Voids caused by thinking and holding on to the past.  Voids caused by being scared to step into the future. 

Some days.
Lots of ifs and coulds and maybes.

I found treasures, lots of treasures.  It’s not that I was just holding on to junk.  There were good
things; a seriously nice set of Stampin’ Up stamp sets, antique handkerchiefs most likely hand embroidered by my grandmother and nice collection of spools of thread circa 1964 (Walmart of you want them for the museum, I’ll drive them over!).  My baby blankets, lots of purple Relay for Life decorations, nearly every certificate I received in elementary school, a Ziploc bag of hair bows from my childhood and a nice collection of spider webs and blood worms and decor for a fantastic Halloween party. 

All good things, but maybe not things I need now.  One of the nice things about growing older is that you begin to know yourself.  You learn your decorating style, your gift giving style, how you will decorate for the holidays and more importantly, how you won’t! You begin to learn what matters most and what doesn’t.  You begin to be proud of where you’ve come from and realize the impression each of those steps have placed on your heart. 

I mean its nice to know that your second grade teacher thought you were helpful in her class and that you really did get an athletic award once in your life, even if it was participation in field day….and every kid got one (trophies were too expensive!). Its fun to see some of the early art pieces you did in 7th grade as you were honing your artistic skills.  The loads of lesson plans when you wrote curriculum for an after school program in college were really impressive….but stop!

Some days.
Lots of didn’ts, shouldn’ts and couldn’ts.

And yet, you are here.  A contributing member of society.  A giver.  A dreamer.  A creative.  A doer.  And holding up quite nicely I might add.  You don’t know what the days ahead will bring.  But, there are 25 boxes of hoarding dead weight that will not be holding you back!

My name is Keisha.  I’m the person behind the @bigpittstop brand.  I dream. I create. I emote. I believe in possibilities, but I will not be held back, stuffed out or driven by some days!