Sunday, July 28, 2013

Worry wart

It's official. I am more than a self proclaimed worry wart. I'm a biologically, generationally cursed, self-prescribed based on lifestyle choice, fully engulfed worrier. 

It's not healthy. I get that. It's a curse straight from the garden. It's wrath placed on me by the belly slithering serpent and yet I continue to allow him to engulf me. 

I've laid in bed for the last hour not wanting to get up and face the reality of what's rolling through my mind. The "what-ifs", the "why's", the "you should haves", and the "unresolution". 

So, what do I do? I roll over. Grab my phone and do the one thing that distracts me most. I start scrolling through Facebook. Yes there were the left over posts I didn't catch before I dismissed myself from the world 9 hours ago. But then it starts coming; little glimpses, little reminders. 

There is the college friend who is terminally ill and fighting for her life and the cutest 4 little kiddos. Plenty there to worry about and someday, like me, she probably feels like she has it mastered, but she is choosing to fill her days with joy. I am challenged to choose JOY. 

There are post after post of my co-workers listing the awesome fundraisers and the $ tied to making life saving choices. I am challenged to be GRATEFUL. 

There are all the posts about radio talk show host Kidd Kradick's death. Many speak of his influence on the everyday  and I wonder do I pour something worthwhile in people's life everyday? Or am I too caught up with the details that I miss the moments? I am challenged to SHARE. 

Then there was this (which sidebar if you are the person who shares verses, links up your bible study, posts inspirational message pictures, etc on Facebook thank you. More often than not, my day is changed by this little, often subtle, messages). GIVE YOUR BURDENS TO THE LORD AND HE WILL GLADLY TAKE CARE OF YOU. Thank you Ps 55:22 for a nice kick in the pants. 

This doesn't mean that the things that sneak their way on my to do list go unnoticed, but it does mean that my worry about needs to move away. 

I've found myself clamoring more for Jesus and the truth His spirit brings in the last few months. Heck, who am I kidding. More in the last 10 months. I take what I do personally. Like a life mission birthed out of life experiences. I want to be a catalyst for change. I want to extend the cause of Christ and I worry that the everyday is keeping me from being the best version of myself. 

Worry allows Satan to have control. Release allows God to be in control. And,  I'm all about that. 

So here's to another day of laying it down.